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You are vulnerable and strong at the same time, here, and I admire you for sharing this with us. There is nothing wrong with losing weight to begin living the life you want to live. I have been on various ends of the spectrum from skinny to fat to thick to fat and back to somewhere in between again. I agree with you — guys who do want us at our sizes can sometimes be a bit off putting and make you feel icky when they insist that you changing your body in any way would go against them. Personally I never cared about that, but it seems this poster feels rejected because he thinks the girls he knows only go for that.

Nothing will ever make him attractive to most women. I definitely agree with many of the points, particularly those that speak to the structural nature of some of these issues, as far as how much what is attractive is socially constructed and patriarchal. If I personally do not want someone to judge me solely on my appearance and just write me off, then who am I to do that to someone else?